Since the Harmonic Concordance, the vibration of my reality has risen, and is still rising “at the speed of light.” Everything around me seems to be changing so fast that I can barely catch up with myself. Well, not everything, just the important things—my consciousness, my home, my neighborhood, my relationships—well, everything.

There are many things that I just can’t tolerate any more. It is not that I have a judgment against them; it is just that they don’t exist for me any longer. They are “not my reality.” I can feel that something is shifting very deep inside of me. The regular world is still “regular,” but I am not a part of that world. I am in it, but not connected to it. It is NOT my reality.

There are many parallel realities that are going on around me. I see them and they see me, but our worlds are so different from each other that, even though we are not both “here,” it feels like I see them “through the glass darkly.” It feels as though I am ½ octaves different from them. I have no emotional connection to them. I am completely neutral, not connected by ANY emotion.

I realize now how emotions work to bind me to a certain reality. Once I disconnect emotionally, it is as if I am not really “there.” Instead, I am observing “there.” Unfortunately, I still have doubts about my perceptions, but I don’t know what that sentence actually means. It is as if I doubt that I can trust my experience because I SO want it so much.

Ah, there it is—an emotion. The emotion of desire or in this case, the emotion of FEAR—the fear that comes with self-doubt. However, this desire is different. It is not something that I want; it is more like a homing beam. It is a compass in a starless night. The only thing that gets me off track is, guess what, the self-doubt, and its best friend—fear.

When I stay out of doubt and fear, this desire pulls me along, as I journey deeper and deeper into the unknown. Even though the world around me is the same, my place in this world is vastly different. Again, it may not seem different to others; it is only different to me. All around me I see illusions. My desire, my inner compass, is the only thing that I can trust as being “real.”

Why does my life, my reality, feel so different when is looks the same? I think it is about being able to be a pioneer in consciousness and to constantly navigate my way between my own doubt and fear to find the WAY. I sense my “time” here is coming to an end, yet I know that I am not going anywhere. Both options are correct, both are real! It is the old concept of my self that is leaving.

I have had to learn a new WAY to deal with all my personal relationships as well. I can fake my appearance for others, but not for those who know me intimately. However, most of them are also changing so much that they are too distracted to even notice my transition. They probably wonder why they see me so differently when I “look” the same.

My male and female energy polarities are more intermingled now, and any gender roles I once had are scrambled. I feel my Divine Complement inside me, rather than above me. We are ONE, as we have joined in my/our heart—our Soul’s Heart—and I feel androgynous, yet more feminine and more masculine. Instead of being who “I AM,” I AM BEING who “WE ARE.”

I observe myself wishing to project my fear out to my mate; after all, what is a relationship good for if not for having someone to blame?? I was not as conscious of this behavior before, but now that my male and female energies are one, I can no longer blame my outer male for what my inner male is hiding from my conscious female. I can no longer say, “It’s not MY fault,” as everywhere and everyone is an expression of MY reality. I can no longer say, “He did ___ to me.” “He/She,” “You /Me” are the same.

The tactics of “blaming another” no longer work since my vibration has risen into a higher dimension. Of course, that does not mean that my ego does not try to repeat those behaviors. Instead, it is just that those old behaviors no longer work. Fourth and fifth dimensional relationships are not the same as third dimensional ones. In the fourth dimension it is much more difficult to “hide” from each other, and in the fifth dimension, “hiding” is impossible. However, in order to “let go” of hiding from my mate, I must be willing to “let go” of hiding from my SELF.

As more Light has entered my being, more darkness is revealed. I would love to project that darkness “out,” but it cannot leave me now, as there is no “OUT.” All is “IN.” There can be no “victim” in higher dimensional relationships as there is no separation. Without separation there can no longer be the “him vs. her” or the “you vs. me” dynamic as there is only “us” and “we.” Therefore, WE must take full responsibility for the reality that WE create alone, for that is the reality that WE create TOGETHER.”

BLENDING THE POLARITIES OF MUNDANE LIFE AND SPIRITUAL LIFE

My relationship with my Soul is no longer “separate.” My Soul is “in” my human form, and my human form “contains” my Soul. However, the rules of my human world are different. My grounded 3D self creates conflict in my life so that I can externalize my darkness into my environment. Then my darkness appears to be “separate.” I understand now that in order to “win” the 3D game, I must realize that NOTHING IS SEPARATE, even what, or who, I “hate,” “judge,” “fear,” or “love.”

Once, it was easier to project my darkness “out” rather than dealing with it “in” myself. Now, the opposite is true. When I externalize my Darkside away from my SELF, it takes on a life of its own. Once outside my “spiritual responsibility,” my Darkside merges with similar emanations that others have projected out to create new and improved versions of victimization, which are then projected into the 3D hologram of my mundane reality.

Then I feel “separate” from my darkness, as it is “out there” in my “external reality. However, what is it separate from? Is it separate from my ego, my consciousness, my mind? It is NOT separate from my Soul. My Soul and my Dark Side are ONE. My Soul Unconditionally Accepts my Darkside as a means through which I can learn. My Soul can easily forgive my Darkside, as it has the ability to heal it with its Unconditional Love.

With the integration of my mundane and spiritual realities—my ego and my Soul—the rules of the 3D game have changed. Once we had to “learn the rules,” and “balance our Karma.” Now I AM creating my own rules and karma is of the past. The fourth and fifth dimension exists in the Flow of Now. Within this Flow there are no thoughts of limitation, or feelings of separation, as there is no polarity to separate me from what I want or limit me in my expression of SELF. Without karma--rules, limitations, separations and, most of all, polarities—the 3D matrix begins to degrade.

The mantra that came into my consciousness with this New Year is,

It is ALL Perfect, for this is the Reality that I AM creating.

I have said that mantra many times in the chaos of the great transition that I AM experiencing in my Mundane/Spiritual life, when things seemed to have completely left my control. Every time, it ALL TURNED OUT TO BE PERFECT!
It was my ego that was “out of control.” My Soul was “on the case.”

I AM now remembering that there is no person, place, situation, or thing outside of me onto which I can project my fear and the darkness that it carries. There is only HERE and NOW. More and more of the fragments of my SELF that have incarnated on different planets, galaxies, and dimensions are coming into my mundane consciousness. My Soul has said to me, “Be patient my ONE, as the ‘time’ of awakening is no longer ‘soon.’ It is NOW. Live only in the Flow of the NOW and you shall see all the parts of the whole. Within the Flow of the NOW all fragments return to Unity, and all the fragments of self become SELF.”

Now that I have the information, “all” I have to do is “live it!”

Suzan Caroll
www.multidimensions.com

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